Tag Archives: job search

Is fear or faith your motivator?

help wanted

As I reach into my savings account and pull out this months bills to be paid out on month 5 of my unemployment I think to myself “hmm I didn’t really plan to still be HERE right now.” But I am.  And somehow I’m ok with it.  At least I was before I let the world seep in and make me question my motivator.

Does fear or faith motivate you?

fear or faith what is your motivator

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

keep calm and trust the process red

As a human most likely your answer is probably both, even if it’s just faith in yourself or someone else or a process.

superwomen blonde

 

If you are faith based, then ideally faith weighs in more, but let’s be honest we still allow fear to run things a lot, and probably don’t necessarily think that is a bad thing anyway because after-all at least “fight or flight” mode allows you “get the job done”, right?! Well true, maybe. But I feel like the goal shouldn’t just be just to get it done and move forward. Life is more than a series of check-marks to cross off for most of us.

For those new to my blog, I left my occupation, one of flexibility and a good solid salary because I felt there was something more that I was meant for and that occupation wasn’t my purpose in life and I wanted to take time to allow for a breather for God to redirect my path and allow me to steer down the path of His choice and I felt the only way for me to allow myself to “be still and listen” was to take myself out of my comfort zone and into a place of rest and discomfort in unemployment so that I had the time and openness to allow for redirection and purpose.

All that said and done, I sit here months later as onlookers probably see my continued unemployment as complacency or undirectedness (which I kind of is– by choice) or more commonly that I’m being unrealistic in what I am waiting for and had a great job I should have never left especially when still not being clear about what I want to or should do going forward.

Have you ever been in this place in life with a situation? You made a solid decision and believed in it wholeheartedly but then as time went on and your timing didn’t match Gods timing and everyone was buzzing in your ear causing confusion, you start to second guess what God originally told you or if you even heard him clearly at all.

too much noise; cant sleep

So here I am. Questioning my decision to have made this leap of faith.

Still unemployed. Still undirected and unclear. Still no clear view of what direction God had in mind for me.

what direction; signs

Plenty of job options but mostly just getting back into what I left. Everyone around telling me just to go back to what I know, go back to sales, take that job that’s just ok–but not what I expected–just because it’s “better than nothing.” To essentially stop waiting for the perfect job; that shiny present of a well paying job that fulfills me and glorifies The Lord while I’m doing it.

And frankly, at this point everyone is starting to sound like they are right.

I-Told-You-So

But then I have to go back to why I started.

I started out of faith.

  • Faith that I was discontent in my occupation for a reason.
  • Faith that God had something different for me.
  • Faith that He would use me.
  • Faith that He would provide.
  • And faith in His timing.

fear or faith what is your motivator

And now I am not thinking or acting in faith but out of fear.

  • Fear that my discontentment was normal, and just something people live with.
  • Fear that God maybe wouldn’t use me in the way I imagined. (which lets be honest is a very real and ok thing)
  • Fear that maybe He didn’t have something different for me.
  • Fear that He wouldn’t provide.
  • And fear that His timing wouldn’t match up to my needs.

faithbiggerthanfear_largeFight or flight.  Do I listen to the fear around me and allow it to seep in or do I trust in the character of my God who has proven time and time again that He is faithful and He is good.

It’s those times when we don’t hear or feel God,  or His timing or ways don’t match up to our vision, that is when we have to trust what we do know and that is that God is Good and His ways better.

And as always, when fearful or doubtful, go to the source of truth to put those fears to rest.  The bible says,

20130909-223050Jeremiah_33_3.251153126_stdjer2911  So the bible tells us:

  • We are chosen and special to God.
  • God will answer us and show us great things.
  • Gods plans are to give us hope and a future.

And so I gain my strong footing again, waking up and choosing faith in this journey.

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(Stay tuned to next weeks blog for the current update on month 6- last week as God made His big reveal which I can’t wait to share as I’m now playing blog catch up)

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Into the wilderness I go : Today I am willfully unemployed.

Before you pass this blog over as another disgruntled laid off employee, or perhaps a lazy person who job hops—please reread that title carefully.

willfully<

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What makes this post interesting and different is that— in a society where people are taking jobs they are over qualified for just to have employment—-I just resigned (from a job that people asked me to recommend them for weekly) and instead I chose to be unemployed. Intentionally. Deliberately. On purpose. Without another job.

And I’m not sure if and when I will start looking for another job!

So, you’re probably thinking one of a few common things by now….so let’s clear those up.

or

  • No I’m not a trust fund kid,
  • No, I’m not pregnant or physically unable to work.
  • No, I’m not depressed or mentally ill.
  • And no, I’m not lazy.
  • Nor am I moving in with someone else who will front my bills.

Here’s what I do know is true.

  • I do have some money saved from previous hard work.
  • I do have a mortgage, car payment, and other provisions that will continue to need attention.
  • I am physically and mentally capable of holding a job and have done so successfully and willingly since graduating college.
  • I left my last job of 4 years as a top 10% sales earner.
  • I was happily recruited away to another sales job for the last 5 months.

THEN I QUIT.

Those are the basic details of this timeline.

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Just kidding

So I know you must be wondering what most logical successful rational people would be wondering at this point:

Why did she do it?
How is she gonna do nothing?
And the dreaded full picture that is starting to set in as auto deposited paychecks stop…..OMG how will she take care of myself?

Why?—Because I know that role was no longer for me. Something changed in me and I no longer desired those same things that allowed me to be happy and content pursuing the work I had been successful in all those years. I base that change directly from living out this scripture: 

“So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.” Romans 12:1-2 (Message)

How? –with a little bit of savings and a whole lot of faith. Hebrews 11:1 — “Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see” -NLV

I may not be sure of what is for me yet but I know where I was is not where I needed to be.

I knew although it had been nice to have a normal steady job that afforded me a nice home, new car, and showcase of shoes any women would take off my hands—it wasn’t enough to make me happy and I was ready to give up the pursuit of the dollar for something greater.

And I have to trust that the same God who put that discontent in me for months as I woke up each day performing the job I was in, that same God who stirred up a lack of peace in accepting the position (that I wrestled with accepting if I look back and am honest), that God would also show me in His time where and what “work” looks like in this new season.

You see as I hit my 30s, my world changed, like most young ladies I planned my life to be married around 27 and kids by 30 (God chuckles I’m sure everytime WE PLAN). So as I go into my 32 year with neither of those goals in grasp I have begun to shift my focus in order to not go crazy like many other 30-something’s in my season of life who have shut off Facebook and avoid weddings etc because of the growing discontentment in our plan versus gods plan.

I had for some reason this year really been praying to focus on my work life to take my mind of my lagging personal life—but more than that—in my prayers something beautiful had budded. I had started to birth thoughts I had never had before about my life.

For the first time in 31 years I began to wonder and pray diligently about my purpose; my calling

God why am I on this earth? How can I serve you? What is my purpose?

I had already given my personal life to The Lord, relationally, which had been the hardest thing in my life thus far, but now God was asking me to also give Him my career?!

“Really lord?!,” I thought to myself. “As if that wasn’t hard enough and I hadn’t given enough up and still can’t see the full measure of fruit there, now you’re asking me to also let go of how I provide for myself God.” And He said, “yes” that’s what I’m asking.

And I remembered, I had been praying. And be careful what you pray for, because your lucky, you might get it—but it might now look like what you expected. I had been praying to be wholly devoted to Him, for Him to use me since He broke me down and had been rebuilding me through my personal life changes I had been open-eyed to how much God could use me. After-all, He gave it all for me the least I could do was pray that I wasn’t scared to do the same for Him.

So—–I found myself no longer was I praying for a job. No longer was I praying to be successful where I was and be a great salesperson. And no longer was I content in that being who I was occupationally.

I wanted……”Gods more” in my life and I wanted Him to use me and due to the overwhelming discontentment I knew—“this” —-wasn’t it. (see my first blog post about Gods’ more)

But the discerning point to this feeling is that this discontentment wasn’t directly related to my performance. Listen we all have days or seasons where because of our performance we feel great or we feel defeated. That is not what I’m talking about. This feeling is more of a lingering in my belly kinda feeling that even with a great day or a sale—still disrupts my any given mood in a way I can’t shake it off for long.

Is anyone in this place too? Got a lingering discontent with life or work that you don’t understand and can’t shake? Perhaps starting to think your not where you need to be but unsure of anything much more than that?

So that’s where I was. Knowing something was not right but not sure what to do about it. I began to pray daily.

Lord, you know my heart and my talents. Show me my calling, show me where you want me. It’s no longer important for me to have a title or make 6-figures, or to just cruise through the years as a “safe Christian”

I had bee loving The Lord, keeping His word, going to Church and even being unashamed of the gospel when needed—-but God was calling me to step up even more and step into the unknown and do something I do not do well at all.

And not just to trust but to trust without seeing a window into where I was I am — being led. To go out into the wilderness. To let go of the fear. And to trust in His character and His nature and all He has done in my past—to trust that If I listen—and I follow—not only will He lead me—but He will take care of me. Heart beating really fast right now—fight or flight sets in as I think about the many things I fear.

Fear of bills not being paid.
Fear of not hearing Him properly and making the wrong move.
Fear of what others will think.
Fear of not knowing.
Fear of not being in control.
Fear of where this will go.

The bible mentions “fear not” 365  times!!!

And it also mentions that fear is not from The Lord.

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.– King James Bible “Authorized Version”, Cambridge Edition

So I stepped out in faith yesterday. After long prayer, and many amazing others praying for and supporting me about this, I called my boss and said “I have had a change in heart, and this job is no longer for me.” To which he replied with everything from “Just give it another month”, “you’re just not trying hard enough”, “you’re great and I want you here and will help get motivation Rollin,” and the list goes on. He was the most helpful supportive boss in the world, but He simply did not understand, like most unbelievers and surface Christians won’t, that it had little to do with performance and everything to do with motivation—but He not I could provide the type of motivation I was now seeking. The convo ended on, “Well, I can’t compete with the God thing, but I want you to do what’s best for you.” And that’s that.

As I sit here day 2 of being willfully unemployed, and I cherish the time I have to reflect and share with you I came to an awesome perfect reminder of why God hasn’t shown me where He’s leading me yet. As that was the main point holding most of my fear—not to stay or go, but the fact that I was going—where He hasn’t yet shown me. I’m in a waiting period. I found this in an amazing book I’m reading, One in a Million, by Patricia Shirer

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Do you see what I see?

“God did not lead them by way of the land…., even though it was near.”

God knows us so very well! He chose to move the Israelites the long hard way because He knew they would never chose that way of course, and if they saw difficulty they would perhaps return to where they were enslaved.

They had not yet gained the perspective needed to chose the better—more difficult choice—so God used those difficulties to ensure they continued to move towards the freedom He so wanted for them.

How profound is Acts 7:39 —-“what good are freed children of God who want to go back to Egypt in their hearts.”

God wanted freedom for them 2000 years ago, as He wants freedom for me today and He wants freedom for you and each of His children.

But sometimes because He knows us so very well—He doesn’t show us things in the time we expect because perhaps in this place of life we wouldn’t see “it” as what we would desire and would run back to the safety net of slavery, the worldly life aspirations we formerly had found comfort in.

I believe God has not shown me where He has called me, perhaps because of this exact reason. I’m not mature or fearless enough in His plan to see where He is leading me and CHOOSE it for myself. There are things I need to experience, perspective gained, something God needs to work in me before I am ready to see the amazing plan He has called me for.

And so with open arms I face the wilderness today and the rest of this season of unknown and I pray God keeps shaping me and my heart to see as He would see and seek the things He wants me to seek and mold me to be ready for His freedom.

I challenge you today to think about this for your own life. Wherever you are, are you satisfied? Or have you been thinking there has got to be more? Start praying for God to search your heart and stir things up so that you are no longer content with the things of this world and God can begin to show you why you are on this Earth.

God bless!!!! Thanks for being with me on this journey!

Why don’t you have the things you desire?

20140501-141312.jpgHow ironic on the day I originally thought to leave my job God showed me His plans . I wanted to quit not because my job sucked but because I had come to the conclusion that it wasn’t “more“.

Huh?! Right. It wasn’t –you know, enough. It didn’t satisfy me. I didn’t want to do it another ten or even 2 years. Sure you say well my job doesn’t satisfy me either —that’s life Jessica. Wrong. That is not the life that the God I put my trust in intends for you or me.

Ephesians 3:20 (NIV) “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us”

I went to a retreat months back sponsored by a dear friend who begged the question “why don’t we have the things we want?” If we (Christians) believe the bible is true and believe what it says about God and His character –then why do we not have the things our heart desires?

We threw around some great and valid answers any Christian has heard in many varied jaded tones of voice….”because it’s not Gods will”, “because God has better plans”, or the skeptical versions of those who have experienced pain and disbelief that sound more like …..” Because God is punishing me”, “because I don’t deserve it” —-the list can go on and on.

Well we came to the conclusion collectively, after much “ahhhh’s” and “ohhhh’s”, that we do not have sometimes because we do not ASK.

I know I just lost a handful of you there who say “I ask God all the time and He just doesn’t answer” —which is another blogpost all together about being able to hear God clearly or at all.

But sticking to today’s point, we do not have many times because we do not ask. Translation : We do not believe. Yes, you believe in God. Yes you believe in Christian beliefs. But you have put God and His power over your life in a “box”.  A box that says “I think God is capable of doing this (insert your realistic tangible idea) , so I will ask Him for that”

What’s wrong with that? Well nothing, you can absolutely pray that and receive blessings and have a life of contentment. No doubt. BUT IF YOU WANT A SET APART LIFE….one that is amazing and of your wildest dreams–the kind that most of us regular people look at and say, “yeah I could never have those things, they aren’t in the cards for me” –then you need to change up your prayers a bit.

I’m saying —-if you believe what the bible says—then believe it for your life in its fullest. Don’t dumb down HIS WORD to YOUR REALITY.

Ask God for what his word states, “immeasurably more

We do have have because we do not ask.  We do not ask because we do not accept deep down that God can or would do what we really want in life so we ask a smaller version of of what we truly desire.

Am I right? Does this describe your prayers? Do they sound something like this: God please allow me to have a family. Grant me the ability to pay my bills. Or even less specific ones like : God, please let me have a job I enjoy.God please let me make money.

Start believing what the bible says and take God out of the box of reality you (and I) have put Him in and allow Him to show you how truly powerful He is!

I encourage you to pray strong bold and specific prayers for your life. Ask more of God. He wants it for you, but He needs us to have faith enough to ask and believe He will carry it out.

This blog is the start to “Gods More” that I have been praying for specifically and wholehearted. That said, I will not be quitting my job just because God has given me an answer.

Those familiar with David in the bible will recall that David did not quit tending his sheep (his job) immediately just because god showed him he was going to be a King. 😉

Be blessed friends! Thanks for reading my first blog post. To God be the glory!

Great message about finding your purpose !!